


If only I could have saved you

by Arizona96



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:48:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21827743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arizona96/pseuds/Arizona96
Summary: Ianto hates seeing Jack die on a normal day, but this is soooooo much worse
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	If only I could have saved you

'Well, this has been a shit day', he thinks to himself as he enters the Hub. First, kids everywhere stopping in place and speaking the same thing. Then Jack had told him that he didn't like the word couple. He had noticed of late that Jack wasn't being so......Jack. Their relationship had moved from just sex, to casual dating, to a more serious relationship. And the closer Ianto got to Jack, the more Jack seemed to close himself off and pull away. Adding to his already hurt and confused mindset, he'd gone to see Rhiannon and her kids. Not that there was anything wrong with Rhiannon per se. She was a lovely woman, a good sister, and a wonderful mother. But seeing her always, ALWAYS, reminded him of his childhood and his father. That never failed to put him into a foul mood. And now she'd found out in a convoluted way about him and Jack; and that was something he didn't want her or, more importantly, Johnny to know about. Hearing Johnny asking him about "taking it up the ass" made him want to run out of the room and never return. And as if to add insult to injury, the SUV was stolen. God knows how many pounds of money and tech was in that car, and now it was gone. Jack was going to strangle him - and not in a fun way. He'd had to catch a cab (or two) to get back to the Hub, and now he was in a right foul mood. Jack was already kind of distant and once he knew about the car, Ianto knew he was going to be livid. Plus he hadn't gotten Rhiannon to let either of her kids out of her sight, so he was doubly screwed. Shoving away his thoughts and straightening his suit, he began typing at Tosh's - the computer to look up Clement Macdonald. Soon after, Gwen came tearing into the Hub, he quickly began reading off the information he'd found but soon realized he was being ignored. Gwen had looked spooked when she'd rushed past, looking like she had when she had found the ghost machine. She ran straight for Owen's-the med lab. Ianto shrugged and left her to it. About five minutes later Jack arrived, the bottom of his shirt stained red with his blood. It always made Ianto physically ache whenever Jack died, even if it was just seeing the aftermath of it; like bloodstains. Every time Jack came "back" his eyes had this awful haunted look that was slowly being replaced by a look of resignation and a hint of sorrow. He wore that helplessness of dying and the weight of the world on him like he wore his huge military coat. It dripped off him in deep, stark lines. From what Jack was saying the hunt for a new doctor was needed seeing as Rupesh Patenjali was now dead. Even though it was obvious, Ianto couldn't help asking tentatively, "Did they kill you too?" "Yeah." Ianto couldn't help himself, he drew Jack to him in a hug as though he could physically heal Jack just by giving him a small degree of comfort. Jack let him for a moment, but all too soon he was pulling away. Ianto immediately fell into his role of the informer. Listened to Jack's warning of being careful and let him know that Gwen was back. As Jack walked off, he turned back to the screen, making notes of his research for Clement. He turned at Jack's shout of his name. "We're having a baby!" Immediately he broke into a wide, goofy smile at the small blip on the screen. For all his seriousness and aloofness, he loved children. Had even dreamed of having them when Lisa was alive. "Congratulations," he told Gwen. Figuring now would be a good time as any, he blurted out, "Would now be a good time to tell you I lost the car?" Jack's head snapped to look at him. "What!?" But it was quickly overshadowed by Gwen's question. And for a moment, Ianto felt victorious. Hopefully, this would overpower him losing the car. Gwen and Rhys were having a baby and in this one moment, all was right in the Hub. He should have smacked himself for thinking that. Alarms and red lights went off and the lockdown procedure started. Ianto stared in disbelief and horror at the screen. He barely heard Jack's almost absent-minded whisper, "Oh my god." It was being drowned out by the screaming in Ianto's mind. Weakly he got out, "There's a bomb." And then much stronger and horrified, "There's a bomb inside your stomach." He ran! He tore to the computer and began running through barely remembered instructions from Tosh about counteracting the lockdown. 'I can't. I can't lose you,' running like a prayer in his head. He knew Jack. He knew that Jack would let himself be obliterated rather than put them in danger trying to save him. Working against time (and hope) he ignored Jack and Gwen shouting at each other. He ignored Gwen's departure at Jack's desperate "You're pregnant," to get her to do so. "Ianto you're going to get locked inside." 'No, no, no. This can work,' he thought. Fingers flying over the buttons he answered Jack, "We can override the mechanism." He began fighting Jack's hold on him, desperate to stay and save him. "For god's sake, get out!" Jack's voice sounded absolutely wrecked and he began to win the struggle, practically dragging Ianto to the trapdoor elevator. The scream that left Ianto was inhuman and almost unintelligible. "THERE'LL BE NOTHING LEFT OF YOU!!" Jack threw him bodily onto the platform, "I can survive anything!" His usual catchphrase was lacking in its usual confidence. Jack turned Ianto to face him and kissed him. Ianto poured his desperation into it, trying to convey everything he'd ever felt for the other man into one last messy kiss. 'Please, please, let me stay,' it seemed to cry. Then Jack's hands splayed against his chest and shoved him back. The platform began to rise. Tears started falling down his face as he and Jack stared at each other. Every inch he rose into the air burned into him. Shame and anger and sorrow and regret swirled within him as he reached out his hand to Jack. 'I could have saved you', he thought. Jack's eyes never left his and they suddenly seemed as ageless as the stars. With a sudden realization Ianto thought, 'He knows. He knows he's not coming back this time. I don't want this to be the last time I see you!' As soon as that last thought passed through his mind, Jack closed his eyes; giving in. "JACK!!!!!!" Ianto screamed. Then the world exploded. His eyes filled with red and yellow as flames and debris flew towards him. Heat enveloped his body as the explosion blew him up and out of the Hub. His back hit the monument with a sickening thud and he fell in a heap to the ground. Groaning, he lay dazed for a few minutes before his Torchwood training kicked in. He dragged himself to his feet. "Can't be found here," he muttered aloud. He dragged his aching, bleeding body out of the burning debris of his workplace and into the safety of the streets of Cardiff. About two miles away from the destruction he collapsed into an abandoned building. He simply couldn't make it any further. Black dots began invading his vision as he slumped to the floor; giving into grief and exhaustion. 'I could have saved you,' was his last thought as his body gave into the abuse it had just been through. I could have saved you.

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I know, I'm back with another Jack/Ianto story but I just couldn't help myself. Writing for the two of them just comes so easily to me. Since I'm not British I apologize for using some British terminology and mostly American terminology, and even more so if I got it completely wrong. Anyways, constructive criticism is always appreciated and let me know if there's anything y'all would like for me to write next!!


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